Tuesday, February 5, 2013


Woman of God, I cannot just talk about my domestic violence situation without letting you know how long it took me to finally get out and stay out.  I am going to expand a little bit about how I was able to get my life back in hopes that I can help and give hope to those that need it.  This scripture meant a lot to me through that time in my life.
(Matthew 11:28-30), "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy ladden and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Mighty woman of God, the most important thing that I must relay to you is that the moment you decide to get out and stay out you will be in the most danger.  Because at that moment your abuser will realize that they are losing control or you.  Abuse is all about control.
I married him because I thought that I was stuck and didn't see a way out. He ruined any friendships I had tried to develop.  Once I started moving forward with Order of Protections, he still didn't take me serious because I had done that before.  But this time it was different.  Although I had an Order of Protection, he still came around my home and called my job everyday.  My employer was great.  They called the corporate office to find out what to do about my situation, instead of letting me go.  They provided protection for me.  He called the receptionist all day, cursing and threatening but the receptionist was just as mean as he was and she got a kick out of cursing him back.  I lived a life of fear and stopped going out to lunch because I was afraid of him catching me by myself.  I worked downtown Chicago and their are too many people to watch.  He threw a brick through my older sisters window and just walked away.  The Order of Protection was not good enough for me because the police don't believe that you are serious.  You have to let them know that you are serious by showing up for court every time you are suppose to go.  I was in court at least 5 times a month for awhile.  I was run off the Calumet Expressway in my car once and went to the police station on 115th and was told that they couldn't help me because it happened on the expressway, call the State Police.  He called DCFS several times claiming I was unfit and sold drugs.  They came by the house several times until one day the DCFS was there to hear him say he was coming to kill me, she left so fast and I never saw them again.  My house was broken into and trashed.  I called Dolton Police so many times they knew me by name. 
Spend a lot of time in prayer with the Lord.  Trust God for your safety.  God is not short on His Word, He will give you rest.  You will become very weary going through the stay out process, but God's got your back, believe that!  Hold on to God with everything you got and God will fight your battle.  Trust God and pray all the time.  My abuser has lived a horrible life since I stayed out.  Prison has become a revolving door for him. He tried to keep me in prison, now look at what God has done.
The main thing is that I got out and stayed out.  So many times we fall for the "I love you" and flowers and tears that we don't stay out.  In order for you to stay out, you have to value your life and love yourself more than that person.  If you have children and you can't seem to love yourself more than him, love them more. That's what I did, loved my children enough to stay out.  I went through a lot more than those mentioned and it took a lot,  but eventually he got the message.  The saddest thing is that he met another girl, married her and did the same thing, he will never change.  I tried to warn her but like myself, she was afraid to leave.  Again, if you love this person, that okay, but love yourself more.  Say to yourself, "I love him . . . BUT, I LOVE MYSELF MORE.  If he is saying that he loves you, he probably does, the best way that he knows how, say to yourself, that's not good enough.  You need someone who knows how to love you.  GOD BLESS YOU!
Please remember to sign up for the "Women's Conference, May 25th 2PM in Lansing, IL.  The event is free, come on out for food, fellowship and a mighty move of God.  I will also be signing copies of my book, "Spiritual Growth for Women - Breaking Shackles" you can purchase at www.amazon.com.  Thank you and can't wait to see you there.  God bless you!