Good morning, Woman of God. I speak blessings upon your life on today and that God will give you peace and joy as you follow after Him.
(Psalms 19:12 and 51:10), "Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults. Create in me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit from me.
While washing the dishes, I observed the cup that I was cleaning. I washed the inside really good, and just ran the rag over the outside of the cup. Then I heard the Holy Spirit say, "Clean the outside of the cup just as well as you clean the inside". My reply was, "Well, we don't really use the outside of the cup". I did what the Lord told me to do, washing the outside as well as the inside.
Then I heard the Spirit of the Lord say, "That's the way my people are presenting themselves to the church and the world. They only cleanse the outside of themselves because that is what people see first and my people are dirty on the inside".
My Testimony: I used to be an Administrative Assistant at my job. I dressed very well; suits, heels and the whole nine yards. If you were to see me on my way to work, you would never ever think that I had a drug problem. I was clean on the outside, little did anyone know how dirty I was on the inside. Little did my employers or co-workers know that I was carrying joints laced with cocaine in my purse. Little did anyone know that I would go buy drugs on my lunch hour. This was a weekly routine for me. You talk about someone that should have been dead and gone, it was ME.
Once I started attending church, I keep the same drug routine. The only thing that changed was that I didn't get high before church. Once I got home, that's when I would smoke and drink. Don't think that my church was lacking anything, it was all about me. Did I want to change, Sunday after Sunday getting in the deliverance line? I expected something miraculous after laying out on the alter, slapped with oil, but that didn't happen. It was still up to me to hold on to it.
One Sunday, the Sunday School Teacher was anointing everyone with oil before we went into the classroom. Once I sat down, something so different began to happen to my spirit. That's the way that I can explain it. I began to cry, not only did I just cry, but I cried the whole time (not out loud, tears just streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't stop, even if I wanted to. The minister placed a box of tissue on my desk, but she didn't say a word. She just continued teaching the lesson. I cried for one hour straight, I am not kidding, a whole hour. The Holy Spirit worked on me the whole time. Even after class, the minister didn't say a word. That was the day that the Lord cleaned the inside and outside of my cup. I was delivered, never drinking or doing any kind of drugs.
The ten-step programs did not keep me from using drugs, abusing what God gave to me. It was the Spirit of the Living God, (the Holy Spirit) that cleansed me, washed me, and welcomed me in His loving arms. Keep going to church don't let the devil speak to you in your ear saying, "I don't know why you're going to church". He will remind you of all your faults, making you feel guilty everyday and every time you try to clean the inside (your spirit-man) of your cup. Satan's job is to kill you with the spirit of shame and defeat. There is a saying when you go to AA or NA meetings, "Keep coming back, it works if you work it". Keep going back to church, it works if you work it.
Woman of God, our Lord and Savior does not put a spirit of shame upon you. No matter what you have done, He is always willing and waiting to forgive you. The Lord wants to encourage, comfort and love on you. His compassion for you is never-ending, it will never end. God is full of mercy, it's up to you to receive His mercy; that's the first step for your deliverance. I have heard women say that they don't attend church or pray because they know in their hearts that they will do the same thing again, smoking drugs, drinking, cursing and sleeping around. Imagine how I must have felt day after day, Sunday after Sunday, Bible Study after Bible Study.
I pray that the Lord's message and my testimony will be encouragement and comfort. I love you with the love of our Lord. God bless you, my sisters.