God Mercy! How do we really accept God's mercy when we feel as if we have really messed things up? We read our Word everyday, have a prayer life, worship the Lord throughout the day and listen to gospel music all day to keep us close to God. Not that doing all these things are a sure way to make us better than anyone else, that's not my point. I am just setting the scene.
We attend church on a regular basis and sometimes minister in the pulpit but when things hit home we don't know how to accept God's mercy for ourselves. We can pray for others but when it comes to ourselves we have no one to encourage us. We forget everything that we have ministered to others. We encourage and show compassion to everyone outside of our homes, but we things hit home we don't show compassion to our spouses. Not that we do these things purposely, it just happens and we don't take a step back to collect our thoughts before we shout out things that we will regret later. Somehow we forgot to grab scriptures out of our hearts and pull them out to defuse the situation. The words that come out of our mouth are not pleasing to God and we know it but for some reason we continue in rage.
Later on in the day or the next day, we realize how horribly we acted. We are ashamed of ourselves and feel like God's is looking down on us, shaking His head. We don't know how we are going to pray, minister, encourage or stand in the pulpit after what we have done. All we can hear are the words that we have said and can visualize the things that we have done. We have prayed to ask for the Lord's forgiveness but we refuse to forgive ourselves. We forget about God's mercy.
The reason why I know how you might feel after you have done or said something that you know was not pleasing to God is that I have been there. Not only have I been there but it was as recently as Sunday. Somehow things just got out of hand and I was not able to bring myself back. The pain I felt in my heart was unbearable. I woke up the next morning and could not get in the right frame of mind. I felt that I could not have the nerve to pray and ask God for anything but forgiveness and mercy. I laid in the bed all day with the door close feeling like I had just died. I didn't know what else to do so I turned to a Christian television show and called the number on the screen for prayer. One thing that I do know is that when you need prayer, you need it now. The first number that I called was an answering machine and they would get back to me.
While on the phone with the prayer warrior, I briefly told her what I was going through. I never have anyone to pray for me when I am in need so I need prayer. The woman on the other end of that phone mind as well have been in the same room as myself because she was definitely lead by the Holy Spirit while she prayed for me. She reminded me of God's mercy and that the bible was full of imperfect people that God used. She told me not to forget that it is not me that does the work but the Holy Spirit that uses me and to continue on in my ministry because I am a willing vessel. She prayed that I would search my heart and see if there was any wickedness in me. I just cried and felt so much relief in my heart. So here I am today, accepting God's mercy upon my life today.
My sisters in Christ Jesus as long as you are humble when asking for God's forgiveness, accept His mercy. It's very hard when we feel so horrible, but we have to press pass our own unforgiveness and accept God's mercy. We are often too hard on ourselves, I want you to remember this, if you don't remember anything else, no one but God, has a heaven or hell to put you in. PRAISE GOD!