When I was 19 years old, I had a friend that knew how to make pizza from scratch. She would buy all the ingredients she needed, including the toppings. Everything was fresh, nothing out of the can. We would get together on the weekends and she always had that pizza. Well, pizza is one of my favorite foods so I never complained about eating too much. On day I asked her for her recipe. She wrote down all the ingredients and step by step instructions to follow. My first attempt to make that pizza was a disaster. My second attempt was worst. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, what step I was missing. Finally, she actually came to my house so that we could make the pizza together, then I got it right. It turns out that I was not letting the yeast sit long enough to rise and I was letting the oven pre-heat, which was burning the crust way ahead of time.
Mighty woman of God, if you keep putting the same ingredients in your oven (you spirit), and things don't work out right, you have to change the way you are making it. You keep doing the same thing wrong you will get the same results (a disaster).
Now, let's look at this from a spiritual point of view. You are wondering why you seem to be going around in circles, going through the same bitterness, turmoil and challenges over and over again. You are not changing the ingredients but you want different results. You are asking God for the same things over and over again. His desire is to do whatever you need or want but you are not willing to change. Not only that, but you need to look at your instructions again (read your bible). If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.
You need to invite the Holy Spirit to your kitchen (your spirit) and show you what ingredients to keep and what to throw out. In other words, what are the things you need to let go of to receive God's best for you. What ingredients do you need more of? What friends to let go and which friends to keep. Maybe you need more water (blood of Jesus, Word of God). Maybe you need more oil (anointing). Maybe you need more heat (the Holy Spirit), maybe you need more yeast (prayer), maybe you need less eggs (unevenly yoked, worldly things).
If you are missing some of the ingredients then every time you are tested by fiery darts of the devil you will not rise up. Until you have the right ingredients in your oven (your spirit, body, heart), your yeast (spirit) will not rise.
Don't forget to sign up for the Women's Conference, which is May 25th, 2P-4P, in the Chicagoland area. This event is FREE! We are going to have a blessed time in the Lord.